{portrait of a morning}

I stayed home from work today due to waking up with my throat feeling like someone shoved a burning bowling ball down there. Nice image, huh? I felt something coming on over these past couple of days, but I was hoping that plenty of tea, honey + apple cider vinegar mixed with a bit of denial would help stave off the illness. Alas...my attempts did not work.

I still had the morning to spend with miss Lucy since I cannot take her to daycare until 12:30...so I figured some time in the sun would be good for the both of us. We had a cold front move in over the past couple of days (low 50's), but today we are into the mid 80's. I'll take it.

So we took out her new froggy camping chair (that I scored at the grocery store last night) and ate PB&J sandwiches in the driveway while she ran around with the dog. My happy girl....making me feel better with her infectious laughter, silliness, and beautiful smile.

{Lately...}

I guess I haven't been doing very well in trying to carve out time to write in this space lately, but such is life. We have certainly been very busy around here lately. Weekday mornings are still spent hanging with Lucy (you know, doing things like building forts and scribbling chalk all over the driveway all while attempting to prepare breakfast and lunch and get us both ready for the day).

Then I drop her at daycare at 12:30 and it's off to work for me from 1-8pm. Papa bear picks her up around 5:30 and they have their time together in the evenings. I really love that we both get to spend alone time with her throughout the week and then we all get our time together on the weekends. I guess if I really had my way though, I'd work normal hours and be home in the evenings with them. I love my job, but my heart is in other places sometimes. I guess that's just life.

In other news....

*We just booked our flights for a trip to the U.S. Virgin Islands in August! We'll be headed to St. John island for a week to see two of our very dear friends (Matt + Melissa) get married. They have been together a few months longer than Zach and I (10 years!) and have recently gotten engaged. I'm dying of excitement a) because they are getting married! and b) because this trip is going to be awesome. There are only 10 of us going (including the bride and groom) and we are staying in a beautiful villa all together with private pool/hot tub and the works. (If you want to make yourself jealous...check it out here). I don't want to wish away the summer already...but I can't wait!

*I am heading to Cincinnati this weekend to help Melissa wedding dress shop and I can't wait to see the light in her eyes as she tries that very first dress on. It's such an exciting time and I am so happy for her.

*Tonight I am having a little girls night with my Yoga mama's. One of the 6 girls from our original group moved to PA last year and she is in town this week for a visit. I can't wait to see her and catch up on life. I just adore these girls so much.

*Ladybug in Love Photography has been keeping me busy and I feel so blessed to be starting this new adventure. It has been so much fun so far and I am constantly learning so much. What more could I ask for at this point?

*We've been loving the weather lately and it's been good for our souls to spend so much time outdoors. I am more than happy to say goodbye to winter...until next time.

*This month Zach and I are celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary. In July, we will have been together for 10 years. I am so proud of the life we have created together. It's not always easy, but it's the bitter in life that makes the sweet so much sweeter (or so they say...right?!)

*Lucy's 2nd birthday is 22 days away (!!!) and I really haven't done any planning except for the fact that we know we'll have it on my brother's rooftop deck at his new condo. It's funny how many months went into planning last years ladybug extravaganza. I definitely wanted to make a big deal out of the first birthday, but this year we are scaling back and just having a small celebration with mostly family. There will still be plenty of fun and sweets to go around :)

*I am currently reading "Bloom" by Kelle Hampton and I am in love with this sweet story about her beautiful little baby Nella.

*I wrote a song on the guitar the other day. Woah. Haven't done that in years. It's kind of a folky/bluesy/blugrass type feel. The inspiration just hit one day and I went with it.

Well, that is it from me for now. The fish sticks are about to come out of the oven and Lucy is demanding cottage cheese :)

xoxo

{23 months}

Dear Lucy,

I can't believe that at this time two years ago, you were still a dream that was securely nestled in my belly. You were this incredibly tiny being that I had already fallen deeply in love with even though I didn't even yet know if you were a boy or a girl. Feeling your little body squirm around inside of me was a feeling that I loved oh so much. You were all mine then. There was this small part of me (maybe a bigger part of me than I really was willing to admit at the time) that wasn't ready to not be pregnant anymore. I was a little scared of what it would be like when you came into the world. I was scared of not being to protect you the same way I could when you were inside of me. I was scared that I wouldn't do a good job. I was scared to share you with the world. 

 But then....you came into this world (whether I was ready or not) and I immediately wondered to myself what on earth I had ever done without you. 

No, really....what did I ever do with all of that free time?!?!?! :)

You are so incredibly smart and beautiful and you are every bit the dream I had in my heart long before I was pregnant with you. There are certainly some difficult days scattered in with the incredible days, but we're taking it all in stride. 

We are working hard to try and teach you the difference between whining and your "big girl" voice. How are you supposed to know that whining is incredibly unpleasant sounding and doesn't get you what you want unless we teach you? I can now say to you "Lucy, please don't whine. I need you to use your big girl voice" and quite often you will change your tone and say "please, mommy". Sure it doesn't work even half of the time, but I am quite impressed nonetheless. 

People tell me that you whine the most when I am with you. When people babysit you, they usually tell me that you haven't whined even a second, but then as soon as I walk in the room, you are the queen of "whine town". I really don't understand it...and I'd be lying if I said it doesn't make me sad sometimes. But it is what it is and I know that you love your mama with all your heart. Yes...I'll just keep reminding myself of that!! :)

You still love reading. You want to color all the time. You are still your happiest when you are outside (thank god for spring!!). You are not currently interested in the potty. You are still obsessed with Yo Gabba Gabba. You still hate wearing hair clips/ties. You love taking care of your stuffed animals and doll babies. You especially love trying to put diapers on them and taking off their clothes. You're not a fan of long car rides. You love helping us prepare meals. You especially love helping me make our fruit & spinach smoothies in the morning. You're still a rockstar sleeper. You love running around in circles just like the dog. You love shoes. You hate most vegetables unless you have something to dip them in. You love dip. You love blue bear and Ella bear the most. You also really love monkey these days. Your new favorite phrase is "I want it too". You often say "you're welcome" immediately after saying "thank you". You love bath time. You love cooking in your kitchen. 

What did we ever do without you....

"My wild child, she's my stone.

My wild child, she's my constant reminder.

My wild child, she's my home."

-Cowboy Junkies-

All my heart,

Love mama

{Moments}

Sitting here on Saturday night...glass of sangria in hand...watching episodes of Parenthood while Zach is out with friends. I love my husband, but a night alone now and then is very therapeutic. It's been awhile since I've written in this space. Life has been busy and full with family, friends, teaching, photography, editing, and life in general. Spring is slowly but surely creeping in and it is such a relieving feeling to know that our days can soon be spent outside in the warmth and sunshine instead of cooped up in the house. It will certainly make for a happier little toddler and a happier mama.

Lucy has been a bit of a handful lately. She is the queen of the tantrums and has a temper to boot. I suppose I could go on about this....but the fact is, she's an {almost} 2 year old. She's just figuring it all out and I imagine it can be extremely frustrating to be so smart but to not be able to communicate your every want and need the way you'd like to. The fact is....I don't want to cry "woe is me" because I know I have a beautiful and healthy and amazing little girl. and while some days may drive to me to need an extra visit to Starbucks or a cocktail at the end of the day...I feel like the luckiest mama in the world.

I guess I should admit it's easy to write this kind of a post on a day like today. I attended a vocal competition event with a couple of my students this morning and was home by about 10am. Then Zach had to go work for awhile, so I spent most of the afternoon alone with our girl. She was in a wonderful and super sweet mood all day. She now says "I love you" without being prompted or without you saying it first...and I just want to die of happiness every time. She helped me cook lunch, unload the dishwasher and sort laundry. We danced like crazy people to the music in her favorite Yo Gabba Gabba show. We colored and played in a sink filled with water. We ate leftover peeps and read books. It was a beautiful Saturday.

It's easy sometimes amidst the busy-ness of life to feel like you're drowning in routine and responsibility, but it's days like today that remind me to be gentle with myself and be thankful. It may drive me bonkers sometimes, but it doesn't really matter that there are dishes on the counter, laundry that has been backed up for weeks, and dirt driven into the carpet. Not to mention the dirty counters and table tops with tiny little fingerprints all over. And let's not talk about the dust. Oh, the dust. 

This is my life.....and I am grateful. 

(*All of these photos were taken by my beautiful niece the week before Easter)

{22 months}

Dear Lucy,

It has been a crazy busy month in our household and I am struggling as usual to keep up with it all, but heaven knows you make life fun and exciting no matter how busy we get. It feels like you are changing every single second of every minute of every day. Your little brain is just soaking everything up like a sponge and you are growing out of your sweet baby-ness with every moment that passes. You are a little girl now...with the most adventurous spirit and a temper to boot when you don't get your way :)

Some of my favorite things that you are now doing: saying "I love you", "I'll miss you", "Excuse me", "No thanks", speaking more and more in sentences in general, butterfly and eskimo kisses, recognizing the difference between happy and sad, learning opposites, taking care of all of your little baby dolls like they are the most important thing in the world, pretending to be asleep and snoring (even though you keep your eyes open when you're doing it..hehe), making up long stories as you "read" your books, counting everything in sight, your obsession with shoes, singing your heart out in church (as soon as that hymnal gets opened...off you go! Melts my heart!!), the way you scratch my back and attempt to give little massages....

Your Aunt Michelle (Auntie M) taught you a few things when she was here visiting last week. She taught you to say "no thanks" instead of just "no!" and how to sign "please beautiful mama"...I'm a big fan of that one :) She also taught you to call your dad and I "Sara" and "Zach"....hmm...not sure how I feel about that one! Thank goodness that one hasn't really stuck...silly Auntie M! :)

You have really been going back and forth these past couple of months with your interest in the potty. Some days/weeks you absolutely love sitting there and it's all you want to do...20 times a day. And then some days/weeks you want nothing to do with it. I suppose this is normal behavior and we're not too concerned about it yet. We're pretty much just following your lead here. I imagine once you hit 2 years old, we'll hit the old potty training regimen a bit harder. But we'll see....we certainly don't want to push too much if you're not ready.

We have also been working lately on getting rid of your binky. You have really gotten quite attached to it started asking for it constantly. We let you have it at bed time now and that is it. Our ritual in the morning now is for you to give the binky to your Ella bear and then we cover her up with a blankie and pretend she is going "night night".

You had your first haircut this past week. Your sweet little baby mullet was getting a wee bit out of control and I thought it might be time to shape it up a bit. Your pop pop and I took you down into the basement and I was wondering if you'd be able to sit still long enough! But you were a total rockstar as he trimmed your hair and I took about 100 pictures. I kept reminding him not to cut too much!! As I watched the tiny little pieces of your golden locks fall to the ground, it almost brought tears to my eyes. My little girl is growing up so very quickly and I am just trying to freeze these moments in my mind.

There are many, many days lately where I feel like all you do is say "NO!" to me and run around yelling your little head off...and those days can be a bit trying for sure. But no day could ever be rotten enough that I'd forget how incredibly lucky and blessed I am to be your mama. It is absolutely my most favorite thing that I've ever done in the world and I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Happy 22 months, love bug! I love you to the moon and back...

Love,
Mama

{oh, hello there}

I am alive..and mostly well. I have been a bit under the weather this week....and incredibly busy. So I am hanging in there. I am currently working on editing pictures from a newborn photo shoot I had last weekend. Stay tuned. But for now....one of my faves....

How sweet are those little toes?! I teach big brother piano and I was so honored when his mom asked me to do these photos for them. Baby Simon is just the sweetest little thing!

Well, I've got a super busy and fun birthday week coming up, but I will be back soon with stories and pictures. For now I am just going to enjoy the last week of my 20's and roll as gracefully as possible into my 30's. I am definitely not one of those people who is sad or upset about turning the big 3-0 (that's what they call it, right?) I say...bring it on!

Oh...and happy first day of spring! I just wish it actually felt like spring outside. On this day last year we had a high of 85 degrees here in Ohio. Today it was a high of 35. Eek. I'm just so ready to say goodbye to this season and hello to warmth and sunshine. Any day now.

{weekend therapy}

This weekend was just what the doctor ordered. It started out with spending a lovely Friday morning with my little lady (who is obsessed with bananas....and yo gabba gabba)...

I dropped her off at daycare in the afternoon and headed off to use the gift certificate hubby got me for valentines day to get a massage from my bestie, Erika. She is a rock star massage therapist. I had no idea how badly I needed it until I got there. I had some crazy knots going on and it felt so amazing to get them all worked out. I have a feeling it was a little extra worse than normal due to the trauma from earlier in the week. We had a pretty intensely scary choking incident with Lucy on Tuesday (I was home alone with her in the morning and a carrot got lodged in her throat. It was the most scared I have ever been in my life...but I am praising God that it all came out okay in the end). So yes....this peaceful hour was absolutely what I needed to start the weekend off right.

Erika and I went out to lunch after the massage and then I went to Barnes and Noble since I had a little bit of extra time left before I needed to pick Lucy up. I always end up in the non-fiction/autobiography section. It is my favorite.

Later that evening, Zach, Lucy and I went to a fish fry at our friends church. It took us an hour to get there (I am so not used to rush hour anymore. Perks of working 1-8pm)...but the food and company were wonderful.

My mom came up from Cincinnati on Saturday morning and we spent the afternoon shopping at Easton. The weather was amazing and spring fever was spreading like wildfire. It was just so nice to enjoy the warmth and sunshine. I was on a major hunt for a pair of great boots and Lucy certainly enjoyed all of the shoe shopping. The girl is seriously obsessed.

That night, Zach and I went out for a friends 30th birthday while my mama stayed with Lucy. We surprised him at a mexican restaurant and then we all went to the new Hollywood Casino that recently opened close to our neighborhood. We came out way ahead which was super exciting. We covered dinner, drinks, and then some with our winnings. Woo! It was so much fun having a night out with the hubby and great friends.

We went to church this morning and then met my brother for lunch. The weather was amazing again today and spring fever reached an even higher level as we sat out on the patio of the restaurant. We all soaked it up knowing full well that it's not here to stay....yet.

After lunch, we came home and put an extremely tired Lucy down for a nap. Zach stayed home with her while mama and I went back to Easton to continue the great boot hunt. We finally found them at DSW. They are pretty fabulous.

Then it was time for mom to head back to Cincinnati. It's always sad to see her go....but I just can't help but be thankful for the time we do get to spend with her. I am certainly so blessed and so spoiled and so very lucky. (Love you, mama!!)

So yes....this weekend is exactly what the doctor ordered.