{6 months}

{I'm late on the monthly post (as usual)...but better late than never, right?!}

Dear Lucy,

My sweet little ladybug. I cannot believe we have already hit the 6 month mark. That means only another 6 months to go before you turn one! I don't know if I can really handle how quickly the time is going! I am just so in awe of you every minute of every day. You have such a beautiful and vivacious personality and it is absolutely infectious. Your smile melts my heart every single time and reminds me of how lucky and honored I am to be your mother. I have always wondered what my purpose on this earth truly was...and now I know.

We have become so attached to each other since you came into the world. I truly believe we were made for each other. I love the way your eyes light up when I come into your room early in the morning. I love the way you laugh when I make funny faces and sing you silly songs. I love the way you talk and coo at me as if you are telling me a story. I love the way you listen so intently when I talk to you or read you a book. I love the way your wriggle around in excitement every time the dog brushes up against you. I love the way you flirt with yourself when you see yourself in the mirror. I love the way you look so concerned when I sneeze or cough or cry. I love the way you use your hands to explore every feature on my face when I lay down really close to you. I love the pure joy it brings you when I lay you down for "naked baby time" on the floor.

You love to explore, and you LOVE to eat! You love rice cereal, avocado, and bananas most of all so far. You also love when I give you Mum Mum's because then you can feed yourself. And not only food...BUT absolutely anything that you can get your hands onto goes directly into your mouth. We sure do have to start being more careful about what we keep laying around and where we put you down. You still have that beautiful toothless grin, but I know that a couple of teeth are on their way. This makes you quite cranky sometime, but I can certainly understand why! Thankfully, even with as much as you love food, you also still love to nurse. I love still having those moments in the day where we both have to stop what we're doing, and it is just you and me.

There are often moments that I find myself wishing I could live in forever. For example: we have both been feeling a bit under the weather for the past week. I have a sinus infection and you have your first little cold. You seemed to be feeling particularly yucky a couple of days ago. You simply wanted to be held all day long. I took you to the doctor with me so I could get an antibiotic and you were such a good girl. We came home and sat down on the couch together. You laid your head on my chest and stayed there for over an hour and a half. You were wide awake, but hardly moved or made a peep. You just laid there all snuggled in complete contentment as I read and sang to you. At one point, I literally had tears in my eyes. You are just so sweet and my love for you is overwhelming sometimes.

I will admit, some days are definitely harder than others, and I certainly don't claim to have this whole motherhood thing totally figured out (I imagine I never will), but I do know that I have never been happier and that every day with you is an incredible adventure. You have proven to be my greatest teacher and I am so grateful for every lesson of patience, love, and humility that you have passed to me thus far.

It is really hard to think about the fact that someday you will be a teenager, and sometimes you will think you hate me, and sometimes you will feel like you'll never be able to forgive me for not letting you stay out late with your friends. I keep thinking about how many times I've heard from my parents "you will understand someday when you are a mother", and it is SO TRUE. and then I think about how many times I am sure to say these same words to you as you grow up...but it really is just all part of the cycle....

Here I am getting way ahead of myself again (I do that a lot). For now, I will just enjoy these fleeting moments I have with you as my little baby girl. You are my heart and soul, sweet one...and I love you to the moon and back (and there and back again!)

All my love,
Mama